Prostitutes, Crack, Meth — and the Transsexual Encounters I Never Saw Coming

 For many, sexual boundaries are fixed points — clear lines between what they will and won’t do. But under the influence of powerful stimulants like methamphetamine or crack cocaine, those lines can blur, shift, and eventually disappear altogether.

I know, because it happened to me.

From fear to transaction

As a teenager, I was terrified of approaching women. Sober, the idea of starting a conversation felt impossible. This social paralysis left me without a “normal” pathway into intimacy. The solution I found wasn’t dating — it was prostitution.

Seeing sex workers offered control, predictability, and no risk of rejection. But it also came with a heavy dose of shame. I left those early encounters physically satisfied but emotionally gutted.

The drug effect on desire

That changed when drugs entered the picture. Crack cocaine came first — then methamphetamine. Both are known to flood the brain with dopamine and suppress inhibition, but meth in particular is notorious for driving prolonged sexual activity, hyperfocus on erotic stimuli, and increased willingness to engage in unconventional acts.

A 2015 study in Drug and Alcohol Dependence found that meth users were significantly more likely to engage in high-risk sexual behaviours and experiment with partners they would not consider when sober. Researchers have linked this to the drug’s ability to dissolve learned boundaries while amplifying novelty-seeking behaviour.

I didn’t know the science then, but I felt the effects. Crack made me bold. Meth made me fearless. Encounters became longer, riskier, and more varied.

The first shift

It was during a meth binge in London that my sexual boundaries changed dramatically. I’d been with a prostitute for several days — injecting, talking, drifting between highs and crashes. While she was with another client, her flatmate — a trans woman — and I started talking. One thing led to another.

At the time, it felt spontaneous. But over the weeks and months that followed, being with trans women became a regular part of my high-fuelled sexual routine. It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t a sober preference. It was simply part of the sexual ecosystem I inhabited while using meth.

Shame to acceptance

Initially, I told myself this was a one-off curiosity, not part of “who I really was.” But as it repeated, my shame gave way to rationalisation: I never hurt anyone. I never did anything illegal. I was simply exploring. And when high, it never felt wrong — it felt inevitable.

The bigger picture

Psychologists describe this as state-dependent sexual behaviour — patterns that emerge only in a particular mental or physiological state. In my sober state, those desires were muted or non-existent. In my high state, they were the centre of my sexual reality.

The danger is that both states feel real while you’re in them. This can create a kind of double identity — the sober self with one set of rules, and the high self with another. Over time, the high self can start to dominate decision-making, even when sober.

Why it matters

This isn’t just about sex or drugs — it’s about how the brain’s reward system can be trained to seek escalating novelty, whether through substances, partners, or behaviours. Meth and crack don’t just “lower inhibitions”; they can reshape what a person believes they are willing to do.

When people talk about drug-related sexual risk, they often focus on disease transmission or consent issues. But there’s another layer — the quiet, gradual transformation of personal boundaries. You might begin with one small compromise, but with each high, that compromise can stretch until it’s unrecognisable.

I’m not here to moralise. My story isn’t about regret so much as recognition.

I lived in two sexual worlds. Both felt authentic at the time. But one existed only under chemical influence, and it grew in ways my sober mind could never have imagined.

That’s the thing about boundaries. They don’t always break with a bang. Sometimes, they dissolve — one high at a time.